Equity and Inclusion at Aledade

Gender Pronouns Guide

What are gender pronouns?

A pronoun is a word used to refer to people in the place of a name, and pronouns refer to people who are talking (like “I” or “you”) or a person being talked about in the third person (like “she/her,” “he/him” and “they/them”). It is important to be intentional about the way we use pronouns as we all work to create as inclusive an environment as possible. We likely all grew up assuming we knew someone’s pronouns just by looking at them, or knowing their gender, but that isn’t always the case. To be more affirming of all, it is important to get out of the habit of assuming pronouns.

Singular ‘They’

It is grammatically correct to use singular “they” to refer a singular person of unknown gender or to a non-binary person who does not feel gendered pronouns work for them (e.g., “to each their own”). Additionally, some people also use more than one set of pronouns. For example, “she/they” or “he/them.” When someone uses more than a single set of pronouns, it could mean that they are okay with either one being used, or that they accept both. Do not assume that they can be used interchangeably; kindly ask if the person uses one set in particular contexts versus another.

Why are pronouns important?

Gender pronouns are a way for individuals to identify themselves outside of using their names. Pronouns are important not only because they are used for everyday communication, but also because they are used to convey and affirm gender identity. This is especially true for those whose gender identity does not align with their sex assigned at birth (e.g., transgender individuals) or whose gender identity or expression does not fall within binary constructs of gender (e.g., genderqueer or gender nonbinary individuals).
Using a person’s correct pronouns provides gender affirmation, signals mutual respect and creates a more welcoming and inclusive environment. Being misgendered (i.e., being referred to with incorrect pronouns) can be an extremely hurtful and invalidating experience. Intentional refusal to use someone’s correct pronouns is equivalent to harassment and a violation of one’s human rights (Aledade Code of Conduct).

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Pronoun Etiquette & Tips

  • Create opportunities for people to share their pronouns with you rather than assuming you know their pronouns based on their appearance. For example, when introducing yourself share your pronouns like this:  
    • In one-on-one conversation: “Hi, I’m John and I go by he/him. Nice to meet you.”  
    • In a meeting: “Hi everyone. I’m Mollie. I’m the senior program manager and I go by she/her.”
    • In your email signature next to your name: E. Wilson (pronouns: they/them/theirs) 
  • If you don’t know someone’s pronouns, it’s okay to ask. You can say, “What pronouns do you use?” or “What pronouns do you go by?” or “What pronouns would you like me to use when I refer to you?” When in doubt, don’t assume. When you can’t ask someone’s pronouns, you can always use the person's name.
  • Practice! Practice! Practice! It takes intention to consistently use someone’s correct pronouns if you previously used different pronouns for that person or if you’re using pronouns that are new to you. Take the time to practice referring to the person with the correct pronouns in conversation and in written communication. (Tip: Do a quick “CTRL+F” and search for any use of an incorrect pronoun before hitting send in an email and you’re unsure of pronoun usage.) 

If you make a mistake, apologize and move on. Help others by gently correcting them if they misgender someone.

Pronouns in Action

*these pronouns are not all-encompassing, and are used as a guide for foundational education

She/Her/Hers

He/Him/His

They/Them/Theirs

Ze/Zir/Zirs

Ze/Hir/Hirs

She is here.
He is here.
They are here.
Ze is here.
Ze is here.
Her phone.
His phone.

Their phone.

Zir phone.

Hir phone.

She excused
herself.
He excused
himself.
They excused
themself.
Ze excused
zirself.
Ze excused
hirself.
That coat is hers.
The coat is his.
The coat is theirs.
That coat is zirs.
That coat is hirs.
Lets call her.
Lets call him.
Lets call them.
Lets call zir.
Lets call hir.
Sources: American Psychological Association, Britannica Dictionary, MLA Style Center, National Institutes of Health, National Education Association, Human Rights Campaign